The tears have stopped flowing, but my heart now aches. I want you to hold me and brush my hair from my face. I want your voice to be the last thing I hear before I go to bed, and the first thing I wake up to in the morning. I want to see your sheepish grin when I let you into the building; your exuberant joy when I wrap my arms around your body and burrow my face into your back. I want you to look at me with such love and caring, even when I’m sick in bed and haven’t showered in days.

Without your touch, your guiding hand, I feel lost and alone. But I’m going to use this pain. With time, I will construct from it something beautiful and meaningful. Rather than waste time with alcohol and arguments, I will paint, I will read, I will sing, laugh, love. I gave so much to you that I had very little left for myself. I plan to cherish this moment and grow. 

I miss you and yet I’m moving on.

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